give a present

The art of giving/receiving gifts. 4 tips for getting the most out of gifts this holiday season

“The value of a gift does not depend on its price, but on the heart, you put into it”

I imagine that you have already chosen the “perfect gift” for your lover, a family member, a colleague, or your best friend (best friend), … and I imagine that you are looking forward to the moment of giving the gift.

I imagine that you have considered all the advice you can find on the internet on how to choose the perfect gift. That you have considered the The 4-Gift Rule (invented in England in 2016), is based on these four pillars when choosing a gift: Want, wear, want, and read. Or that you are, like me, an adept of “experience gifts” (to live a situation, an emotion, a feeling: Giving the gift of a ticket to the cinema, theater, a first flight/runway, …). Whatever the style of gift you have chosen, it is soon time to give/receive gifts.

Giving/receiving gifts is also an art. I like the principle that the Japanese use when they receive a gift: they open the gift afterward, in the privacy of their home. The Japanese open their gift alone and if they like it, they keep it and if they don’t, they thank the person and the gift and “let it go” (give the gift to someone who can use it/love it). But I also like the “Latino” style: open the gift in front of the person who gives it to you and shout for joy (even if you don’t like the gift). Of course, the one I use.

For years, I have been involved in developing the art of giving/receiving gifts, and today I am sharing with you 4 tips that work very well for me when it comes to giving or receiving a gift. It’s up to you to try them out:

1. the art of honesty:

Knowing how to say, “I don’t like the gift”, “I won’t use it”. It means knowing how to assert yourself and respect yourself! Thank the person for the gift they are giving you and explain why you don’t like the gift. This gives them the opportunity to get to know you better and to build a relationship.  Most of the time, we give as a gift something that we like, so thank the person (for the gesture of giving). Personally, I ask the person to keep the gift for him or herself, because I know that it makes him or her happy.

2. The art of letting go:

Do not take the gift as a personal “attack”. Learn to let go of feelings related to our own life experiences, fears, and anxieties. For example, when we receive a piece of clothing that is one size larger than ours, it can refer us to our feelings of low self-esteem (I am fat). Stop thinking that the person is sending us a message: you are fat. We often forget that knowing how to recognize sizes in different shops is quite an art! So, avoid taking the posture of a “spy” who is trying to understand a message hidden in the gift.

3. The art of putting things into perspective:

It’s only a gift, a moment of exchange (whether it’s imposed or not) so don’t make a big deal of it. Learn to recognize the “gift behind the gift” and say to yourself that even if it hurts, I accept the opportunity to heal this pain. It may happen that the above tip does not apply and that someone really wants to send us a message with a gift, at which point it is essential to learn to take advantage of the opportunities that life gives us to close cycles and wounds.

4. The rule of gratitude: 

Say thank you, but really thank you from the bottom of your heart, even for the gift you don’t like. Learn to recognize the positive things, in the gesture of giving there is all the desire to share, to enjoy. Accepting this with gratitude is a primordial key to the art of receiving.  If we don’t know how to be in a state of gratitude for what we receive today, we can’t hope to receive more tomorrow.

Here are my tips for making a moment of sharing a true moment of happiness and joy.

I send you all my positive energies as a gift during this holiday season.

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